a book "château sergo"

something is going on out there... but we hardly leave "ourselves".

Friday, April 08, 2005

shameless me

One month before it was of a kind I have never felt before. I was void when met both of them in that city. To each other – they were too (cold as this winter).
There is a difference between the ways a man and a woman feel when charmed by each other. The one has to fill with other to be filled. Like engineers call connectors by “male” and “female”. And it is so much sexual on the level of “vibrations” only, that it is to think one more time of what ‘material’ really is, before you step on the ground again.
We (only two of us) were silent and void as perhaps never before. He (unnecessary other) was filling both of us with voices. I accepted the “feminine” in myself with no strength to fight – sank in humility and resignation. It was a role-playing for Him while all my being was for Her – her who could never be mine. I was sad about noticing with every passing moment how unhappy She was unfilled. A fear absorbed me when I realized how it is to be imprisoned on the level of devotion which always “lacks”. Although I wanted to show my masculine side, we played the lesbians with her. And still we were silent as never before…
Her Father astonished me. I have never had a Father in my life, but hers was the best Father I’ve ever seen. Her Father was an artist and a poet, “Her” Father and “My”, and the Father’s was also a feminine side. We talked and talked with her Father, Her listening and Him trying to interrupt. Her Mother was sick, and the only thing Mother uttered for me was “very nice to meet you”…
Then We had to say goodbye to each other. I left the House with Him. He knew everything but He will Never…

Wish I had taken a photo of Her...
Does not the same happen time and time again to everyone?


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